How to Build Happiness in Your Marriage
Step outside yourself. It’s a good idea to consider what it’s like to walk a mile in your partner’s shoes. If you run into a conflict or disagreement, instead of concentrating solely on how you’re feeling, consider your partner’s feelings first.
Choose your battles. Sometimes fights or disagreements in marital situations are inevitable because you’re two different human beings with two sets of opinions. Determine whether your feelings or specific issues and/or concerns are really worth fighting over, or if perhaps you’re able to reach a mutually acceptable compromise. Maybe you’re into a petty little fight about something that’s really unimportant, try to learn from these mistakes thereby avoiding similar situations in the future.
Argue the right way. Avoiding disagreements with your partner entirely, can lead to unhealthy consequences. For example, either you or your spouse (sometimes both) may repress certain angers and frustrations, with neither of you getting what you need out of the relationship.
Learn how to express your feelings of displeasure with your partner’s actions or behaviour, without getting into an all-out yelling match, or worse, is vitally important for the health of your marriage.
Helpful Hints to Avoid Heated Arguments:
When you disagree, avoid saying personally hurtful things simply to win points! If things are getting out of control, take a break for a while and come back to the conversation when your emotions aren’t running as high. Take time to cool off!Use phrases such as “I get upset when you do this…” instead of lashing out with name-calling or accusing your partner of always doing the wrong thing.
Spend time away from your spouse. While this might sound counter-intuitive, time alone is an important part of any marriage. Of course, you enjoy your time together, but you also need to explore who you are as an individual. Allow each other time to spend with friends and take time for yourself to enjoy activities that you like doing.
Work on your communication skills. While there are some married couples that communicate easily, others have a more difficult time. If you feel you’re not connecting efficiently with your partner, make an effort to improve this aspect of your relationship.
Make time every day, to really converse with your partner. Talk about your feelings and issues that are important to you, instead of simply turning on the TV!
Take your spouse out on a date! Just like you used to when you first met. Relationships can get stale and become boring because people get into the same old routine. Plan your “married dates” and make them special.
Learn how to listen. The art of being a good listener perhaps deserves special emphasis it is the most crucial part of communication.
If your partner has had a bad day, be there to listen to him or her.
Have a wonder-filled wedding day and Marriage!!!!
Rev. Rudy Heezen